


harry thinks he's in love

by queenmcgonagall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 12:58:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmcgonagall/pseuds/queenmcgonagall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry thought maybe he was in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	harry thinks he's in love

it’s a hunger he says. It’s a chalky and straining hunger that takes you over and claws your insides till they hang in shreds and feels like a motor attached to your feet, pulling and pushing. It’s a hunger for answers, for conclusions, for confirmation. he won’t be the same, he says, none of them will be. if it’s yes, it’s the world, the chance. if it’s no, it’s back to doing those things that drove him to come here in the first place, it’s back to uncertainty.

his heart pounds like it wants to burst out of his chest, spewing dreams everywhere for the harsh world to pick apart, and his blood feels like it’s on fire but Harry’ grip on the boys on either side of him anchors him and grows vines around his feet to hold him steady. The hand on his shoulder squeezes and kneads and tiny shivers run down his spine, tingling, and it’s wishful thinking that wants that hand to trail fingers on his ramrod straight back. The hot sun beats on his head like a relentless drum, softly mocking ‘what if you don’t make it, then what? then what?’. Out of the corner of his eye Harry can see Liam’s lip trembling and Harry prays they don’t get sent home, if only for Liam, because Liam is too fragile to be broken for the second time. 

If Harry goes home, he knows his life will return to normal, to wishing and waiting and wanting for something he can’t even put a finger on. It’s felt like maybe there was a small gap in between his heart and soul, and even he didn’t know what was meant to fill that gap. The empty and dark spaces in Harry rock and bend his staggeringly naive soul and all his attempts to balance his turbulent heart are met with confusion about what he’s even trying to do. Is it satisfaction he’s looking for? Pride? Love?

Harry has a tiny suspicion that sits in the back of his mind, drinking tea, that what he could be looking for is standing two two feet away from him, nervously biting on his fingernails, his foot lifted up off the ground a little bit and his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

Simon’s speaking. The blood in Harry is rushing around at what should be illegal speeds, heating his insides and sending sharp daggers down to his feet and into his fingertips and hopefully not out of his eyes, but it feels like maybe they are. He wants to scream, rip his throat open and never go home. He wants to yank the boy with the fingernails to him and ask him exactly what he means by pretending to be everything Harry’s ever wanted. He wants to shout in his face ‘who are you’ and ‘how are you doing this’. 

He doesn’t though. He waits until Simon has said ‘you’re through’ and then he’s burrowing his head into boy-with-fingernails’ shoulder and he’s frantically pawing at his shirt and he sees that smile with the bright blue eyes twinkling above it and Harry’s heart thumps a few extra times and he thinks he might be in love.

He thinks he might be in love when that night, boy-with-fingernails is softly padding across the room to his bed and he thinks he might be in love when his arm circles Harry’s waist. 

Louis whispers ‘hi’ into Harry’s chest and Harry thinks maybe he’s in love.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written as a 12 part piece but I never actually wrote the rest of the 11 pieces. So it's just..."one time harry thought he was in love".


End file.
